Thursday, July 28, 2011
He Never Stops.
I come to this post broken, but in a good way. A way that I can only thank God for. The last few weeks really have been a whirlwind. We had kids camp with a team from Arizona and Montana, and then my church from Midland brought a group and did an inner city sports camp, and this week we have been preparing for the youth camp which we leave for on Saturday.
I felt the Lord working so much in my heart and life, which is partially why I haven't sat down to post because I've been trying myself to sort through all my emotions and thoughts and such.
Basically what it comes down to is I have finally said yes to something I have running away from for a while now. I kept saying, "O I'll take this year in Moldova, the Lord will show me a lot, I'll go home go to college and get a job maybe in the arts, photography or even teaching or counseling", sounds like a pretty well laid out plan right? ha well that was MY plan not God's, that's for sure. I Wonder when I will finally realize that I can't make my own plans, He rules in my life and His plans always end up being better anyways! So I am officially devoting my life to full time ministry. It's scary, confusing, exciting, and joyous all at the same time. I know that a life of full time ministry can be difficult but there's nothing else I could see myself doing than serving our Lord and Savior. All of His children are called to serve Him, but what Moldova has showed me is that I'm meant to serve Him in all I do no matter where I am, full time. I had felt this call before and always seemed to push it away, but after serving here in Moldova I don't want to push it away anymore, I must embrace this call. Things seem so much more clear now. Anything I wanted to do with my life before never felt right but I just have this feeling right in the pit of my stomach that this is right, and my heart is so heavy with Joy. I know the Lord is in this, and I'm anxious to see where He will take me next.
I went on an adventure today with a group of girls and when we were driving back to the city tonight my mind was swimming, as it had been all day, well for the last 2 weeks actually. I turned on my music to a group that was a free download off of a Christian website Come and Live, and hadn't listened through the whole album. Of course the 1st song struck me and I'm even listening to it on repeat as I write this post.
These are the lyrics that particularly struck me-
Great Awakening- Explore
"I am determined to know nothing but You, demonstrate Your truth
I am set on spending my life on You, there's nothing to lose
Can I explore the depths of Your kindness
What else could I do,
I'm moved with a love, there's nothing to lose
My mind is made up, I want to stay unglued,
living to see You move
Nothing can hold me back anymore"
I'm amazed at how many different ways God makes His ways sure to us. I have seen a lot of confirmation the last week or so and it's overwhelming and amazing.
So please pray for me as my "original" plans have taken a turn, but one that I'm excited about, because they aren't my plans anymore, they're His. I want to do this His way, not mine. I'll still be going home at the end of August, but instead of starting at Midland Community College in January as originally planned I 'm going to look into some different options, more than likely a Bible College where I can get more specific education for ministry. I know I need more knowledge in order to serve Him as best I can. It's in God's hands and we will just see what He does next!
Blessings to you all this week,